Sexual Assault is an experience that affects people of all genders and sexual orientations. Sexual assault can happen in a pre-existing relationship, by a family member, by someone you trust, in a dating relationship, or perpetrated by a stranger.
In the context of a relationship or someone you trust, there can be a denial of what happened, feelings of guilt or being responsible for what happened or not fighting back, or for finding yourself being friendly or kind to the person who assaulted with you, which is the fawn response (see previous blog post on Was it really Sexual Assault). You may feel shame and may keep it a secret and not tell trusted friends or family about it.
Often people come to my office and I am the first person they have told about the assault. It has often been years since the event happened and yet despite time passing it can feel like the event just happened. Victims of assault may continue to experience nightmares and efforts to avoid reminders of the assault . One woman I worked with avoided whole areas of the city (where she lived) where the assault had taken place, despite rationally not believing they were in danger any longer.
Sexual assault is not always rape- you may have experienced unwanted touching when you were a teen or child by an adult in a position of trust, and these memories continue to impact you years later. Some people may hesitate to begin a relationship, or feeling uncomfortable with affection, touch or intimacy after a sexual assault. Sometimes people have tried to share with others, and their experiences have been minimized or discounted because the person in a position of power is well-respected or known by others mutually.
Sometimes assault happens when a person has been drinking or using substances, and they blame themselves for the actions of the perpetrator because of engaging in substance use and finding themselves in a vulnerable position. However, it is important to know that the person responsible for the assault is the perpetrator, and their vulnerability is not an excuse for others to take advantage of them.
Some survivors may still develop PTSD symptoms including:
-nightmares
-flashbacks
-avoidance of places and reminders of the event
-depression, irritability
-difficulty concentrating at work and/or school
-difficulty sleeping
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a recognized evidence based treatment for PTSD and is especially effective for those who have experienced a sexual assault. I have worked with many clients with complex trauma with EMDR therapy, and often we work on experiences of sexual assault first.
I often suggest working on experiences of sexual assault before childhood memories of neglect or abuse when someone is actively experiencing frequent nightmares and avoidance symptoms and difficulty sleeping as EMDR can quickly help someone reduce these symptoms, and allow them to sleep better, experience a fuller life, and feel generally happier and freer.
EMDR works by bringing up the image of the worst part of the memory, the negative belief, emotions and body sensations and then clients do sets of eye movements. We continue that work until the distress of the memory is desensitized, and then we install a positive belief about oneself, like "I have control", "I'm powerful" or "I'm safe" or "I did the best I could". After the positive belief feels 100% true at the gut level, we then scan the body and process any remaining somatic sensations.
EMDR therapy is one of the most transformational and effective therapies for sexual assault, even if you also have CPTSD. When a client has CPTSD we may modify our protocol to specifically focus on the assault and not all of the difficult things that have happened to you- this is called restricted processing.
I have worked with CPTSD survivors processing a recent sexual abuse experience, and after finishing processing they felt lighter and more empowered.
EMDR for sexual assault can be a good start to healing CPTSD, though is likely just the beginning. EMDR for CPTSD may target multiple memories from ones life, both early memories, distressful memories and recent triggers.
Our team of skill EMDR therapists at Emotion Wise Counselling offer both in-person psychological support in Vancouver and virtual counselling support for residents of Alberta, British Columbia and Ontario.
Reach out today to start your path to healing with EMDR therapy
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